WHINNING

SOLD OUT OR SELL OUT?

I found it mildly ironic that the stars aligned so  that on the day I am released from Bureau of Prisons custody Charlie Sheen scheduled a Boston show for his Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat is not an Option tour at Agganis Arena. Not that I would go (I still haven't gotten over him testifying against Heidi Fleiss) but I didn't think it was even an option since news reports were that earlier shows sold out in 18 minutes.  But wait, could this be true?  Who's going to pay to see Charlie when he is already on every network and all over the internet for free?   Even if were to bring along guest comics and a platoon of porn stars how many times can you stand to hear about warlocks and trolls before you tear your frigging eyebrows off?  So Ask Al set out to investigate and do you know what he found - thousands of tickets still available to every show across the country!  These tickets are all in the secondary market like Mr. Ticket, StubHub, Ticket Master etc so that's why the venues can say they are soldout and most of the best seats seem to be taken, but truth be told the public is not going nuts buying them up.  In fact by calling and going on line I could get tickets for every show from Vancouver, BC clear across to the country to New York and down to Tampa FL. There was not a show that didn't have tons of unsold seats.   When I identified myself to the saleswoman from Ticket Inventory as Al Capone she tried to sell me a VIP ticket which is a front row seat and backstage pass to meet the Warlock  for five thousand.  Yes tickets at Radio City Music Hall are priced from $75.00 to $5000.00!  For that price I told her he'd better be throwing in two and a half porn stars and a seven gram rock.