BENEDICT ARNOLD

   This is scary

     Is anyone surprised that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a household staff member as many as fourteen years ago and did not tell his wife, Maria Shriver, who was likely pregnant at the same time with their now thirteen year old son, until he left the governor's office and found out the Los Angeles Times was about to break the story?

     Unless you're a complete moron, have never seen the movie Pumping Iron (in which Arnold's  bodybuilding prowess is far surpassed by his skillful lying), or lived under a rock since Arnie came to this country in 1968, the answer should be a resounding, "Hell No I'm not surprised!" 

     To be the greatest bodybuilder of all time takes one thing above all else: complete and utter selfishness.  Long before he could spell California,  pronounce Terminator, or string together, "I'll be back," Arnold predicted publically that he would conquer the world of bodybuilding, become a famous actor and go on to be a  prominent politician.  Many who heard this smirked and went along with their business, never taking a single word he butchered seriously.  Years later, when everyone on the planet knew him from the big screen, news broke he was marrying into the Kennedy clan and all I could do was smile, my idol was on his way.  With a little self control or even a condom and Obama's forger to change "Austria" to "America" on his birth certificate, and Arnie may have scammed his way into the White House.  Now that any chance of that is over, lets you and I try to answer the biggest question of all; the only one that matters:

No, not how did Arnold get Maria in the first place,

or why did she stay with him when he went from this to this.

Living with Conan must have been no picnic, and although they spawned four beautiful kids together:

 twenty five years of True Lies with the Barbarian obviously took took their toll:

When Arnold needed her most to back up his defense against groping every woman in Rio,

 half of Sweden,

and god knows what else,

Maria stood by him saying,  "You can listen to these allegations from people who met Arnold for 10 seconds 30 years ago, or you can listen to me." Now many who listened to her, and voted for the Kinder Garden Cop,

want their votes back because they realize that the Commando was labled correctly back in 1987 as a:

What a

for everyone.  Another decade with Conan would have certainly destroyed her. Now Maria can grow old gracefully, as have the Kennedey women before her.

     And while not the question I want to answer, but an interesting one nonetheless: how did The Running Man convince everyone that the kid belonged to the maid and the maid's husband when by age six it was saying: "Hasta la vista baby," every morning when it left for school?

These are all worthy inquiries but Ask Al's job today is to decide who is the bigger Scumbag:

or

No question they both lost a lot.

However, as despicable as his infidelity was, Tiger did his shagging on the road.  Arnold's deception runs deep.  The Sperminator was pumping more than iron and doing it under his own roof, lying to Maria, his kids, the people of California and most likely his bastard child for so many years.  And to know the truth all one needed to do is look at the boy's jaw line and signature gap in his teeth.

After being given this grim look at Mr. Olympia's soul Al's former admiration for him has been Terminated and Arnold is, hands down, our Supreme Scumbag.

But you know we have not seen the last of Arnold,

he just cant stop...